Relationship question: What to do if the Partner reacts defensively?

Some people respond quickly aroused, offended, or sad.

For your partners lack of understanding triggers that often: Because the other one is very light in the Defensive – even if he or she was not criticized.

What’s behind it and how you can change this relationship dynamic?

Two factors: uncertainty and appreciation

A defensive stance is to survive a defense response protection mechanisms are important. That’s why, one should ask, what is it that protects the defensive reaction?

To understand to a to a defensive posture-leaning Partner, you should consider whether or not the person is basically insecure. If it does not live up to the self-confidence, you feel easily attacked or criticized, even if you think nothing in his remarks.

The other side of the coin: with swings, Perhaps, in the own, as a neutral or positive perceived Utterances, but a hidden criticism, paternalism, or patronizing? Before you try to change the other, you should not look whether it is itself the trigger for the behavior of the partner.

Then you should rather work on yourself to drive instead of the other even more on the Defensive. Maybe there are good reasons why the other does not feel adequately respected and appreciated, and often is sensitive?

The sensitive Partner to accept

The innate Temperament, which everyone has, plays a role. Some people are naturally thin-skinned than others – as well as several other sometimes, admittedly, can be somewhat insensitive in their Remarks.

If the Partner is thin-skinned than others, then you should accept him or her just so and take into consideration.

Respect and trust strengthen

Possibly, one finds on closer Inspection that there is to heal wounds and eliminate imbalances. If the reasons for hypersensitive reactions outside of the relationship, you can encourage the Partner to work on Fears or past traumas, possibly with professional help. What never helps: impatience, lack of understanding and pressure.

Of course, there is also a played weak or victim-like attitude, which manifests itself in defensive reactions. Behind it is a twisted can game hide the you can go with a bit of luck and open words on the bottom of it.

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*The contribution of “relationship question: What to do if the Partner reacts, always on the defensive?” is published by FitForFun. Contact with the executives here.