Posh, miserable? Not after all this facial yoga

Spare a thought for Victoria Beckham, who, if you believe Now! magazine, is worried that the LA weather is drying out her skin, and has started an intensive regime of facial yoga, also popular with – and there’s a certain crushing inevitability about this – Gwyneth Paltrow. “She hopes the exercises will stop people calling her miserable as they’ll give her face more expression,” said a friend.

It’s hard not to think that her problem with people calling her miserable might be solved by an intensive regime of smiling occasionally, but facial yoga sounds intriguing: after all, if yoga can teach you how to draw in water through your penis – and it can – what can it teach you to do with your face?

Indefatigable on your behalf, Lost in Showbiz has done extensive research into the practice – largely involving reading the is-this-the-new-Botox? features the Daily Mail runs on it every six months – and can reveal that it mostly consists of sticking your tongue out and looking slightly to the left. Language doesn’t exist to express the disappointment, although obviously words will be eaten when Mrs Beckham emerges from her intensive regime with a face so flexible she takes on all-comers at the Egremont Crab Fair world gurning championships.

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