Mum shamed for being ‘too old’ after falling pregnant at 42
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A mum of three has shared how she was made to feel like she was ‘too old’ to have a child after she fell pregnant at 42.
Lucy Baker had three children by the age of 43, making her a “geriatric mother”, a term used to describe anyone who is pregnant over the age of 35, a category she has twice fallen into. Now 46, she has three young children, Nancy, 12, Ivy, 10, and Rocky, 3.
Speaking to GrimsbyLive, Lucy said that upon announcing the news of her third child at 42, she received criticism from friends, family, and even medical professionals who questioned whether she was too old to have another baby.
Recently, reality TV star Stacey Solomon announced she was having her fifth child at the age of just 33 and received similar negative comments about her age – something which struck a chord with Lucy.
She said: “Myself and my husband, Dan, were really positive about it when we found out we were pregnant, but everyone around us made us feel quite negative. All the comments do make you change your mindset and make you wonder if you’re doing the right thing.
“It made us think whether or not we were taking a big risk too.”
She added: “When I went to register with the local midwife and I told her my date of birth, she gasped and some of our friends and family were the same. When we went to book a holiday and I told them I was pregnant they even asked me if it was planned.”
Lucy explained that many comments related to how she would possibly be the oldest mum at the school gates, which has stuck with her.
“You can’t un-hear that stuff,” she said. “It makes you think more about what you’re doing and comments like that were a real kick in the teeth. All the comments just made me feel like maybe I was too old and it was really upsetting, to be honest.”
Recently, celebrity Stacey Solomon announced her fifth pregnancy at the age of 33 and received similar backlash for having children at a later age. Lucy empathised with her situation, having been through something very similar.
“As soon as she released the news, people jumped on her. I felt sorry for her when I saw it and couldn’t believe people thought they had the right to comment on those things.” During her own pregnancy, the woman started up a ‘geriatric mum’ blog in which she spoke about what she was going through and how other mums were feeling the same, something that stopped her from becoming negative about her pregnancy. In turn, this has also led to her becoming a confidence coach to help others who are struggling.
Now, Rocky is a happy and healthy four-year-old and Lucy says this time round has been much better for her. “I’ve had more time to know what to do and I’m not stressing half as much as did with the other two.
“I think that’s helped Rocky too. He’s really relaxed and calm and the fact I’m not panicking, I’d like to think, is rubbing off on him.” For Lucy, the best advice she could give to anyone else in her position was to ignore those criticising you and to carry on as you were.
“Ignore what people say and stick to your own intuition. Get advice from the people who have been in these situations and talk about how you’re feeling.”
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