Mental health: Dealing with the loss of a loved one in the pandemic

Healing is a gradual process; most people try to rush it. Give yourself the time to grieve, says an expert

Over the past year, we have seen families mourning the loss of a loved one. Death is inevitable, but it is also hard to accept.

In the current situation, we have not been able to say our goodbyes to loved ones. The guilt of that, or the inability to do more for them, has been unsettling. Here are some ways which can help you recover from the loss of a loved one, as shared by Sitender Sehrawat, mindfulness teacher and founder of Mindful Souls.

Own your guilt

Remember you did as much as you could do, or as much as the situation allowed. “Trying to blame yourself for the outcome will only swamp your situation. Be kind to yourself if there was something you could do but weren’t able to,” Sehrawat said.

Accept the unfortunate event

All our lives, we have been taught to avoid unpleasant emotions. If you are feeling depressed, you are asked to watch a movie, go out with friends or do something exactly the opposite.

According to Sehrawat, “dejecting negatives emotions puts us in a denial mode”. “Although it’s helpful to go out and cheer yourself up, it should be the last step once you have dealt with your negative emotions. Often, we are not taught that it’s normal to grieve, cry and experience unpleasant emotions.”

Give yourself time to heal

Healing is a gradual process; most people try to rush it.

“Every time we go through this cycle, our mind considers it as a failure and over time, you are convinced that you can’t heal. Suppressing your negative emotions may create an amassment of suppressed negative emotions,” he said.

Honour their memories

We earn memories by spending time with our loved ones. This emotional transaction is priceless. “You cannot exchange your lifelong earnings with long-time sufferings. Cherish the memories by showing compassion for others. You might save someone’s life, only you could understand how gratifying it is,” he explained.

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