Nicole Scherzinger health: X Factor judge’s ‘horrible paralysing disease’

Nicole Scherzinger, 41, oozes confidence being in front of the camera, particularly during her appearances on The X Factor. But in her twenties, the singer fought an eating disorder, describing it as a “dark time” in her life.

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Opening up about her experience, she told Cosmopolitan: “Thinking about it I try not to well up…It is such a horrible paralysing disease and it was such a dark time for me.

“That’s why I can empathise so much with people who have demons and voices in their heads, who aren’t nice to themselves.

“It robs you of living your life. But you can recover and you can get rid of it forever.

“I did it and that’s why it’s so important for me to share my story.”

Nicole admitted in the interview it took her blacking out on the floor to realise she had to get help.

She continued: “I started losing my voice, I couldn’t sing at shows, and then I remember my manager finding my passed out on the floor in Malta or in the south of France.

“I thought, ‘I’m going to lose everything I love if I don’t love myself.’

“One day when you feel like you’ve reached the end, you just, say, ‘I’m not doing this anymore.’

“It’s sad to see how I wasted my life. I had such a great life on the outside, the Dolls were on top of the world but I was miserable on the inside.

“I’m never letting that happen again you only get one life – I was 27 only once.”

As part of the Child Mind Institute’s #MyYoungerSelf mental health awareness campaign, Nicole shared how she wished she could tell her younger self that all the hardships she went through were preparing her for something bigger.

She said: “Growing up I really struggled with feeling like I fit in. I even had a hard time feeling like I fit into my own skin.

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“I was just really hard on myself, I had a lot of struggles with self-esteem and a lot of insecurities and later on that resulted in me having eating disorders because of my body dysmorphia.

“I was just really hard on myself growing up and I didn’t like myself very much.”

What causes eating disorders and how do you know if someone’s got one?

The exact cause of eating disorders is not known, but the NHS says you’re more likely to get one if:

  • You or a member of your family has a history of eating disorders, depression, or alcohol or drug addiction
  • You have been criticised for your eating habits, body shape or weight
  • You’re overly concerned with being slim, particularly if you also feel pressure from society or your job – for example, ballet dancers, jockeys, models or athletes
  • You have anxiety, low self-esteem, an obsessive personality or are a perfectionist
  • You have been sexually abused

Signs of an eating disorder in someone else include:

  • Dramatic weight loss
  • Lying about how much and when they have eaten, or how much they weigh
  • Eating a lot of food very fast
  • Going to the bathroom a lot after eating, often returning looking flushed
  • Excessively or obsessively exercising
  • Avoiding eating with others
  • Cutting food into small pieces or eating very slowly
  • Wearing loose or baggy clothes to hide their weight loss

If you think you may have an eating disorder, even if you’re not sure, see a GP as soon as you can.

If you think someone else has an eating disorder, let them know you’re worried about them and encourage them to see a GP. You could offer to go along with them.

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